WOMEN ARE MYSTERIOUS ANIMALS
We’ve conquered space, we’ve reached the darkest depths of the Earth’s oceans, and we’ve even made plans of colonizing other planets in the galaxy. Nonetheless, there’s one mystery that we seem unable to elucidate once and for all. It keeps haunting us as the memory of that time when our parents caught us beating our meat on some classy vintage porn back in the 90s. It’s not just me, right?
The mystery I’m talking about is all well-known, yet nowhere close to being clarified. I’m talking about how women think. What do women actually want? I mean, think about how men function. It’s all extremely simple about this primitive, rudimentary, and somewhat still savage animal.
Men want money, good pussy, and, if possible, authority and power. When it comes to women, it’s the esthetic that comes first. In most, if not all, cases, you’ll go for a pair of robust tits, along with some strong, firm ass, over a top-notch intellect. I mean, you can’t fuck her brains, right? Other than figuratively, that is. I believe sapiosexuals are a different breed of Homo Sapiens, who tend to imagine women are more than pussy holders. That’s a funny thought.
All in all, mostly all women fall into these categories:
They need constant attention
Do you know why men like dogs? Because of two reasons: they want attention and they never get angry with you when they don’t get it. Women are practically half dogs. They too want attention, but they do gent angry when they don’t get it. If you don’t cuddle her 23/7, something’s fucking wrong. You either don’t love her anymore, you’re fucking another one, or you believe she got fat. Sometimes it’s all combined.
You must give them all the attention in the world, because the universe revolves around them. Those nights out with the boys will always come down to “You’re bored with me, aren’t you?” You know, this type of shit that makes you want to jump from the 8th story down on the concrete sidewalk. And the bad part is that you won’t even get a warning shot. It will mostly come out of the blue, when you least expect it.
Some will simply explode one night, spewing their shit for hours on end, just as you’re getting ready to watch the game, with a bear in your hand and a cigarette in the other. Others won’t even do that. You’ll just see them go sour with no apparent reason. All you’ll get in return will be “I’m fine.” And we know that’s a fucking lie.
Beautiful lies
Don’t ever do the mistake I did when I was younger and stupider. Don’t ever believe honesty is the milestone of a long-lasting, beautiful relationship. Whoever invented this idea never had any relationship with anyone except the bitches from various porn sites. Honesty will take you to places you don’t want to go. You can’t tell her she needs to lose weight, because that dress she’s wearing makes her look like a piglet.
You also don’t want to tell her that her food has a shitty taste. I mean, I get that she’s giving you the impression of expecting an honest answer from you. She may even explicitly express that. Don’t fucking believe her! If she looks in the mirror and says she looks kinda fat, you better fucking disagree with her, no matter how obvious it is that she’s right. Just tell her the mirror is stupid.
And next time she says she wants you to be honest, do anything but that. After all, there’s nothing wrong with you lying to her. That’s exactly what she expects from you when invoking honesty.
Listen to her!
Women want men to listen to them, no matter the platitudes they come up with. They’ll keep flapping their gums around like there’s no tomorrow and the moment you show any sign of disinterest, the whole world comes crashing down on you.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you need to understand one basic thing: her problems will become your problems. If she says her tits hurt because she’s on her period, feel her pain. If she cries when watching Titanic for the umpteenth time, you better cry with her. And if her ovaries hurt for whatever reason, yours better be hurting as well.
The idea is that you must be an idiot to let her know that you don’t care about her problems. Women are like spoiled brats. You either give them what they want, or they’ll shit on your computer keyboard.
More colorful sex
If you’re not into pussy eating, get up-to-date fast! If you are already eating it, eat it more! The more satisfied she is in sex, the happier you’ll get in return. I know she might tell you that it’s not a big deal if you climax in 2 fucking minutes. But it is. It really is.
Think of sex as a deadline-based job. You’re on your final task and you boss expects an A+ result. Fuck it up and you might not get a second chance. When it comes to sex, you might want to go full in. Commit to that shit and let her know you care about her pleasure. This will make her realize you’re not an insensitive animal like she initially thought.
The thing with women is that, if you want to find out how they think, you need to stop thinking like a man. You need to get inside their head. Until men will learn how to do that effectively, there will always be a gap between genders that makes us feel like we belong to separate species.
But, overall, it’s not so difficult to understand what women want. They’re pretty basic, if you think about it. All they’re really looking for is attention, affection, good sex, and constant flattering. Like I said, partly dogs. Now that you know all these things, you should have no problem in dealing with them.
