I GOT BORED WITH MY WIFE

What do you do when you’re not attracted to your wife anymore?

You’d be amazed to find out how often that happens. It’s a pretty common phenomenon, actually, especially in the cases of long-standing relationships. The chances go up exponentially if you’ve gotten married too soon and you didn’t have a chance to know each other. It happens, indeed, more than you’d expect. The imbeciles who barely know each other for a month, decide to get a hold of the rings, marry, most likely with a kid on the way, and in less than a year, they break up.

I’m not saying it’s dumb, but it most definitely is. But perhaps you don’t count yourself among them. Maybe you’re a man who’s got his shit together, who once loved his wife, who has a long-standing relationship, but now you notice that things are standing to change. It seems that you’re no longer as attracted as you once were to her. Either sexually or romantically. You can feel the love dying, that magical spark that kept it all on the floating line. What can you do in this situation?

You need to look at the bright side of things. It’s not your fault this is happening because you can’t control how you feel. You just don’t have the same feelings for her. It’s as simple as that. If you want to save your marriage, though, there are certain things that can mend it up. Among which there are:

Changing the routine

Although you know the relationship is not what it used to be, it’s still hard to put an end to it just like that. In this case, you can try a few things that will fix it up, more or less. One of them is changing the routine. You have no idea how important this is. Just remember the first few months together, when everything was crispy and lovely, and every date was magical.

Try to recreate those moments. Take her out to a restaurant or go together to a movie, just the two of you. After that, you can have a romantic dinner at home, followed by a sweet night of lovemaking the likes of which you barely remember having. This thing can have miraculous effects, and it just might save your marriage.

More communication

In many cases, the partners don’t communicate enough. The lack of communication is usually the main cause for broken relationships. If there’s something you dislike about her, let her know. Of course, you need to avoid being an asshole in the process. Remember, this is women we’re talking about. You know, those creatures that tell you to tell them the truth but as soon as you do, they feel hurt and get mad:

- How do I look? Be honest, please!
- Honestly, love, you’re just a sandwich away from a cow
- I knew you don’t like me anymore

Does it sound familiar? Therefore, there are two things you need to take into consideration: be mindful of how you express your honest views, and preferably, let her take the initiative. In other words, you could start the discussion by saying “So, tell me now, what is it you don’t like about me? Just curious”.

After she’s going to keep yammering incessantly for a few minutes about your downsides, no matter how small, it’ll be easier for her to accept being criticized later on. That is, as long as you ignore the example I just gave you and behave with a little more courtesy than a drunken sailor groping an easy hooker on a Sunday morning.

Honestly analyze yourself

If you’ve gotten bored with your wife, you might be the problem here. It’s high time you did some introspection to try to understand exactly what’s happening in that head of yours. Generally, people in your situation tend to shift the blame on the partner when their feelings degrade, for no good reasons whatsoever. Abstain from doing that, would you? Instead, be honest with yourself.

In many situations, it’s not the woman at fault. Maybe she truly loves you. Maybe she works around the house constantly, and she also takes care of the two squirts you happily inseminated her with. Maybe she’s worth it. If not your love, at least your respect. Control your impulsive nature and try to understand the reason for the change of heart. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover new things about yourself that might lead to a complete turnover.

Seek professional help

A couple-therapist might have a different perspective on things, and solutions where you don’t see any. If you really want to salvage this relationship, try going to a few sessions. I know that most people don’t usually end up going to a therapist, but it’s a method that might save your lives.

Regardless of how ashamed you are, it’s still possible that doing this will save your relationship. What do you have to lose? At the very least, an ounce of respect in the eyes of your alcoholic pals. No matter. Instead, the advantages are endless. You can regain not only your marriage, but the feelings for the woman you’ve loved all your life. I think it’s worth a try.

A peaceful break-up

No matter how hard you try, some relationships just can’t be saved. In this case, breaking up is the only remaining option, because both of your lives are at stake here. It’s pointless to try living your life alongside some you don’t love anymore. The idea is to make the breakup as easy as possible.

You should know that she’s going to suffer much more than you will, since you lack the feelings. Be a gentleman, talk to her and tell her about the problem. No matter how she reacts, you will have done the deed honorably.

In the end, no matter what you’ll do, try to think from your partner’s perspective. Us men, we tend not to do that because we don’t have as much empathy as women do. Make an effort though! No matter what, this list will probably help you.