HOW YOU CAN SAVE A RELATIONSHIP
You need some time to think things through before making decisions
A relationship can fail due to multiple reasons, not all of them being equally serious. When you’re still going through the shock phase, you’re more likely to make hasty and erroneous decisions. Perhaps some reasons for why your relationship reached this state aren’t to be ignored or forgiven, but it’s all up to you and the way you see things.
However, it’s important for you to take some time to analyze things with a fresh mind as much as possible. Only in this way will you be able to reach an objective conclusion. If you’re certain that it’s worth overlooking old problems that hurt your relationship because you know for sure that it’s more important to have your woman close to you, than you can start thinking about a way to set things back into order.
You have to be honest with yourself when you analyze things, and you have to find the root-cause of the problem. Most often, partners tend to throw 100% of the blame on one another, but truth can be somewhere in the middle. If part of the blame is yours, you must be sure that you’re ready to make the necessary changes in order to fix things.
Many situations can be fixed, but breaking one’s trust is probably the most serious reason for why relationships fail. If your woman broke your trust but you choose to continue the relationship with her, it’s hard to guarantee that the same situation won’t happen again. It’s way easier to vouch for yourself, but you can never dictate somebody else’s behavior.
You have to start from a positive mindset
The worst mistake you could make is to let despair overcome you and lead your decisions. If you’re in an older relationship, you become extremely attached to the person next to you. Daily routine sets in and you get used to the new lifestyle next to your partner. When you’re faced with the need to break such a relationship, it’s very difficult to get over this event and to find your way in life again.
Breakups are hurtful, and this is even more valid in the case of a long-term relationship. It’s normal for you to feel confused and to want to get back to how things were before. It’s difficult to imagine a different life now, or to start all over again. But the mental state you’re in when you decide to go back is very important.
If you go back to her out of despair, she will catch on to that. If you show her that you’re weak, and that you’re willing to do anything to have her back, there are low chances for things to ever change, even if you two make up. If, for example, your relationship ended because you found out she was cheating on you, when you run back to her all whipped and sad, she’ll naturally reach the conclusion that she can do whatever she wants in a relationship with you. Whatever she does, you’ll be coming back to her anyway.
Instead, if you pull yourself together and come to the conclusion that it’s best to try to fix things, but come with clear conditions and don’t look down and desperate, she will understand that you’re giving her a second chance, but that she also has to work on improving herself if she wants to stay by your side.
Willingness and effort should come from both partners
Usually, neither partner is completely at fault for the way the relationship ended up. A relationship doesn’t get ruined overnight, but after a longer series of causes and effects. Both partners have to be serious about it, and they should treat the second chance as something important. A relationship is a shared responsibility which both partners should assume equally.
Of course, men and women fulfill different roles in a relationship, but both of them are equally important. Both have to be aware of their faults, and of what they can do better in general. There’s always room for improvement, even after years and years spent together; it’s got to do with the willingness and the respect which partners should provide for each other, as well as for the relationship. Without these, you can keep trying the same thing and expecting different results, but to no avail. If you want to turn things around, you both have to do things differently and you have to put in the needed effort.
Communication is the most important
Most problems can be caught before they get worse, as long as the partners are open and they communicate their dissatisfaction. But for this to happen, both sides need to be understanding. Most often, women choose to withhold communication and say that nothing’s wrong, because they tend to avoid conflict. You have to show her that you’re patient and open-hearted, that you care about what she has to say and that her needs matter to you. In this way, you can encourage her to partake in honest communication without you being too inquisitive or pressuring her.
Make sure that she is aware of the importance of communication in your relationship. Show her a positive example. You could be the one to initiate discussions and you must help her understand that you’re always willing to listen to her constructive criticism, to find out what upsets her. She will feel more inclined to communicate her ideas when she knows that there’s no risk of upsetting you or causing an argument.
One of the mistakes we make when communicating our disagreement is to forget about how we say it. The same information can hit quite differently depending on your delivery. Even when you feel irritated, you have to be diplomatic and you should try to keep your cool as much as possible. Otherwise, the discussion can become counterproductive.
In a relationship with healthy communication, problems become easier to catch and solve ahead of time. When both partners show they are patient and understanding, almost any issue can be fixed.
