HOW TO FIND THE PERFECT WOMAN
Why is finding Ms. Perfect so difficult?
It might have happened to you, or maybe you’ve heard it from other men you know—what happens when you find the perfect girl who meets all your standards. She’s exactly what you’ve been looking for in a woman, everything checks out on paper, but when it comes to spending time with her, you realize you don’t at all get along as expected. In the worst-case scenario, Ms. Perfect turns out to be an insufferable shrew, which only ruins your life, rather than sweetening it. How can that be? Well, several factors come into play here.
It’s completely natural to have sky-high expectations when thinking about the ideal woman. We all want more than we can handle. The reason I say this is because your expectations might make you shoot in the wrong direction.
If your ideal partner looks like a supermodel, is filthy rich, can beat you in an eating contest, is a fan of your favorite sports team, plays video-games like a pro, cooks like a chef, is kind and understanding, funny, thinks just like you and always agrees with whatever you say, and she doesn’t turn into a nightmare during that time of the month, she might not exist, or maybe she’s already taken.
What I mean is that your list of must-haves might be too long, and this really narrows down your options. You might find Ms. Perfect one day, just to realize that you don’t make a good match at all.
Have you ever thought about how compatible her ideal qualities are with those that you have, or if you can match up to HER standards? Afterall, if you have so many expectations for her, wouldn’t it be expected for you to have just as much to offer? Or maybe you’re being rather egotistical and superficial in your search for the ideal woman?
If you only look at the surface details, such as physical appearance, how often she laughs at your jokes, or if she’s ok with your gaming fixation, but you ignore or overlook the more important things, such as her ethical values and life goals, it’s obvious that there will be disagreements down the line.
Try seeing things from a different angle
You should find a compromise between the ideal woman and the woman who’s right for you. This doesn’t mean lowering your standards, but rather being more open-minded. Instead of limiting yourself to a narrow list of well-defined qualities that she must check off, otherwise she’s no bueno, try working on your priorities a little bit.
You might find a woman who only checks off a part of the items on your list, but you get along very well and she makes you feel amazing. Well then, you know the saying, “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. It’s more important to find a partner who makes you happy, rather than chasing impossible dreams.
If you find this woman, you’d be surprised to see that the things you once desired will no longer be important. Her flaws will seem beautiful in your eyes, because it’s exactly these things you’d ignore or avoid before, that make her who she is.
Most probably, your long-term happiness and fulfilment next to the right person are more important than feeling cool for having the woman who’s perfect for all the wrong reasons, but at least people in the street will look at you and think: “damn, he’s got a hottie!”.
Looks matter too. Without sexual attraction, building a long-lasting relationship is near impossible. If only the emotional connection was important, you’d be happy with a simple friendship. So, nobody’s saying you should pick a woman whom you consider repulsive. Just remember that not everything that’s outside your standard is automatically unattractive.
If she’s not physically perfect, a 36-24-36 hourglass figure, with blonde hair and never-ending legs, it doesn’t mean she hasn’t got other attractive features. Instead of keeping a list of “must-haves”, try broadening your choices by focusing on what you don’t want. If there are certain physical or personality traits you find absolutely unattractive, try looking for women that don’t display these characteristics.
Keep in mind the place where you meet her
You might disagree, but the location where you meet for the first time is also relevant. The places she frequents can say a lot about her. Let’s say you find her in a club. Would you think a girl who goes clubbing on the regular is a “good” girl who’s serious about herself and her relationships?
Think about what kinds of women attend different places, in order to figure out where you could find your perfect girl. You might see her in a gym, in a museum, at a café, at a concert, basically anywhere. It just comes down to what you’re looking for.
It’s best finding her in real life, because it’s a whole different story when you can talk face to face; you can better read her, analyze her gestures, her attitudes. Moreover, the connection between two people is established on the basis of eye contact and other means of non-verbal communication too.
You may not know for sure just how well you two will get along, until you meet in real life. However, one useful piece of advice if you want to go the online-dating route, is to pick your options based on their passions, hobbies, interests, you know the drill.
You’ll be surprised to learn how many women are completely immature and void of any kind of substance. If the only thing she can say about herself is “I like having fun”, or “I like going out with friends”, “going shopping”, “I like watching movies”, and the like, you’ll be dodging a bullet by looking elsewhere.
Last but not least, the photos she posts can also give hints about her personality and attitude. If she strikes you as superficial and attention-craving, what makes you think she’d turn down somebody else trying to flirt and throw compliments at her, just because you two are together?
